The BWSU Love Lounge…Where Love is Celebrated!

Here at BWSU our motto is Empowering Women and Standing Up for Love, our Love Lounge is where we celebrate LOVE through inspiring photos of couples who are doing the damn thing!

We seek to inspire those waiting for and believing in love, and to showcase shining examples of Black Love at it’s finest.  Join Us:)

Meet our Featured Couple of the Day…

Kenny and Tanaisha Etienne of New York City, Married – August 1, 2010

Black Love
Black Love
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Words of Wisdom for Married Folk…

Check out @GodsWordIsFree’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/GodsWordIsFree/status/453310012388302848

Came across this tweet and wanted to share.

Peace and Love,
#BWSU Family

Posted from WordPress for Android

Do You Have A Happy Marriage?

Check out these 10 Do’s and Dont’s of a happy marriage from the Black Love and Marriage website, and see if what you’re doing in your marriage made the list. Click link below for full article…

Ten Do’s And Dont’s Of A Happy Marriage

Make sure to come back and leave a comment, and please share:)

Peace and Love.
The BWSU Family

#WednesdayWords

Many people downplay this gift called Marriage for many reasons: what they’ve seen their parents go thru, other family members, legal stuff, fear of that severe commitment, and TV doesn’t help bring a positive outlook on it. However, for me, I Love it. I have an old soul. I respect what marriage is about, what it symbolizes, and growing as one in the eyes of GOD. Waking up to the same woman for the remainder of my days, would be no problem. For in my heart, I will know it is to be. Through the ups and downs, I will remain in her heart, give her all of me, and leave her with no doubts that my Love for her is authentic. True Love is meant for me, and marriage is the destination. I look forward to putting a ring on it! That’s #winning.

Post written by Kasino Marxs

I saw this post on Google+ and I couldn’t resist re-posting. These words were so fitting for #WednesdayWords, and what this blog stands for, that I had to share! How refreshing to read these words from a Man who is looking forward to actually putting a ring on it:)

Peace and Love,
BWSU Family

Wedded Bliss: Feature

Love, the month of June and wedded bliss. We have all heard the term “June Bride,” so we thought it fitting to end the month with a June Bride Feature, while honoring those who have taken the leap and sealed it with a kiss – becoming ONE in holy matrimony.

BWSU Celebrates the Union of New York, New York (Harlem) Couple – Crystal Jones to Rodney Campbell

Wedding Day
Wedding Day

Here are 3 Fun Facts on our Featured Couple, along with a Special Note from Crystal Jones (Bride):

How We Met
We met on September 19th 2000, I was at work selling Apartments and he came in and asked me what I was selling, I told him Co-ops he never brought one (lol), but he continued to come everyday until I agreed to go to lunch with him and from that day I was unable to shake this man; this is when I knew I was going to have this man in my life forever.

How He Proposed To Me
Can’t say it was really a big to do but knowing he was a shy man and not knowing how he would make the proposal, we went out to dinner and when we returned I went to shower and when I came back he was sitting on the bed with the ring in his hand asking me to marry him.

Our Wedding Day
We were happily married on June 1st 2013 at Central Park Conservatory on 105th street and Fifth Avenue.

Sealed With A Kiss
Sealed With A Kiss

Special Note

“When your heart sends you in a direction you should follow it. I know that sometimes its a lot of bumps in the road but if you really love someone the bumps will only feel like pebbles.

I knew from the beginning that this was my soul-mate and no matter what people said or how they tried to deter me, I just believed that I should:
KEEP MY MAN IN MY HEART AND MY FRIENDS OUT MY BUSINESS, AND WE WOULD ERASE ALL OUR DOUBTS.

Trust me ladies anything worth fighting for will have to take time and energy and a whole lot of trust.”

It's Official!
It’s Official!

Congratulations Crystal and Rodney! May you have many more years of bliss with continued unconditional love.

For all the ladies over 40 who have never been married or single again – REMEMBER, never give up on finding true love it is POSSIBLE!

FLOTUS Sits Down With Steve Harvey

Currently watching Steve Harvey, his new talk show on the NBC network – 3PM EST, channel 4 here in New York City. I am loving our FLOTUS, and as usual she is dressed to the nines, with a creme colored pants suit…unless my television colors are off and it is a different color, lol:) Either way she looks fabulous, and I am ever so proud everytime I see her on television. It feels great to have a FLOTUS who looks like me, one that I can relate to – a real, down-to-earth Black Woman!

Steve is doing an awesome job interviewing her, and she is so comfortable and always open and honest. He has been asking her questions about when they first met, first date, kiss and about their love in general. The love she has for her husband is evident. She talked about President Barack’s character, work ethic and the fact that he turned down all types of high-profile job offers to work with voter registration and things that mattered.

The producers did a wonderful job, they had pictures of the POTUS and FLOTUS on their wedding day, a pic of where they first lived and some other really cool pics from the past.

Our FLOTUS is truly amazing, Thank you for always making Black Women look good, giving us hope, inspiration and reminding us that BLACK LOVE exists and is one of the most beautiful and precious gifts. We have always been about family and we must get back to that. When we all take responsibility for each other, there is nothing we can not accomplish as a PEOPLE!

First Lady Michelle Obama Stands Up and Stands Out at the 2012 Democratic National Convention

I was in awe as First Lady Michelle Obama graced the stage last night at the #2012DNC.  Not only did she look amazing, but her words were filled with emotion and straight from the heart.


Photo Credit: http://thr4.pgmcdn.net/sites/default/files/imagecache/blog_post_349_width/2012/09/michelle_obama_dnc.jpg

Our First Lady captured the hearts and minds of viewers from all over the world reminding us how hard her husband has worked, and will continue to work to get our country back on track. She stood up for families, women, mothers, the middle class, the employed and the un-employed. And most importantly she stood up for love…the love of her husband, same-sex love and love of our America.

The respect and admiration our First Lady has for her husband, President Barack Obama is evident in her eyes, smile and words. She spoke eloquently and reminded me of why I love our President and First Lady.  I look forward to them serving our country for another four years, and I am convinced that this November the Victory will be theirs once again!

Whenever I see or hear  our First Lady, I stand a little taller, hold my head up a little higher and feel even more proud to be a Black Woman:)

In case you missed Mrs. Obama’s wonderful speech, or just want to hear it again, here is the video link…Enjoy.

Our First Lady was dressed in a Tracy Reese Original…Simply Beautiful!

Marriage Rates Declining For Blacks

This is an article that was posted on Huff Post – Black Voices website by Stephanie Hallett.  It was an interesting read and definitely thought provoking.  Check it out and please share your thoughts.

Here is the official link to the article, please read some of the comments that were posted after.  Happy Reading:)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/20/marriage-rates-declining-_n_1011035.html?ir=Black%20Voices

The Myth: Black Love Can’t Exist

1. Black Relationships/Marriages Don’t Last

Many people accept this notion as fact despite the contrary evidence presented by the thousands of Black couples who each year celebrate marriages that have lasted 50 years or more. Jet magazine features them each week. They are couples like Lurline and Wendell Cotton of Garland, Texas. The Cottons, both 80, celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary on February 6.

Not only have the Cottons lived together for most of their lives, they worked together for nearly 40 years in Wendell Cotton’s dental practice in California. Lurline Cotton served as her husband’s office manager until the couple retired and moved to Texas in 1984. What’s the key to their marital longevity? “Mutual respect,” says Lurline Cotton, who had three sisters, each of whom also was married over 50 years. “You’ve got to have that respect for the other person. There are going to be hard times and some disagreements in a marriage. But when you have that respect, then you are allowed to be who you are and your partner is allowed to be who he is, and you can work through anything.”

2. Black Male/Female Relationships Are Only About Sex

It’s true that sex is a critical component in any marriage or committed relationship, but its significance as the only thing that cements Black male/female relationships is highly exaggerated. “Sex is important; every man will tell you that,” says Dr. George Smith, a Chicago psychotherapist who has counseled more than 2,000 couples in relationship trouble. “But if sex is all you have holding your relationship together, you’re in trouble because you don’t have a true relationship.”

Smith says he tries to show the couples he works with how to communicate and trust and support each another so that their relationship is about more than sex. More often than not, he’s successful. He helps couples find the bonds and mutual goals that make their sexual relationship a sustainable partnership. “Any relationship of substance has to be based on trust and commitment and respect,” he says. “If you have those things, you’ll not only have a true partnership, you’ll have great sex.”

3. All Black Male/Female Relationships Are Filled With Arguments, Hardship And Pain

Love may hurt, but it doesn’t have to, the experts say. Many Black couples in healthy and stable relationships can and do disagree without becoming disagreeable.

But the image of the constantly bickering Black couple has taken over popular thought to such a degree that most people assume it is the norm, says Tiy-E Muhammad, assistant professor of psychology at Clark Atlanta University. “Many people believe that couples must have dramatic occurrences–cursing at one another, being put out of the house, keying somebody’s car–in order to appreciate one another,” Muhammad says. “WRONG! It is very possible–in fact, it’s the norm–for a couple to have a nice, respectful relationship without all of the drama that society is starting to make us believe is normal.”

The way to avoid having your relationship dispute degenerate into screaming matches is to learn how to fight fair. Don’t choose the moment of a dispute about money to hit your partner with a “low blow” about sexual performance or inattention to your emotional needs. “Make sure that what you’re fighting about is really what you’re mad about [at the time],” says Kathy Grant, a Miami marriage counselor. “When arguments blow up into huge, dramatic fights, there’s more at work there than what people say they’re arguing about. That’s why constant communication is important.”

4. All Black Men Cheat On Their Partners

This is such a widely accepted belief, many Black men won’t even dispute it. But while monogamy can be hard, it’s a behavior many Black men conform to with the love and support of strong Black women.

But due to the myriad social and environmental forces that have not been supportive of strong, Black male role models, “a lot of Black men don’t know how to be a husband or father,” says Dr. Smith. “But if you work with him, nurture him, talk to him, you can help him to be the husband and father you want and need him to be.”

Smith also cautions Black men not to allow ego and insecurity to push them to live up to the myth of the Black superstud at the expense of their relationships. “A lot of times, as Black men, our huge egos are all we bring to the table in a relationship, and when that ego gets hurt, we strike out with the one weapon we think we have,” Smith says. “But a lot of Black men, with the help of their women, are learning to open up. They’re learning how to deal with frustrations in their relationships in other ways besides having a woman on the side.”

But women also bear some responsibility for the promulgation of the belief that all Black men cheat. “A lot of women withhold sex as a form of behavior modification or punishment when they’re angry with their spouse or boyfriend,” says Dr. Grant. “That’s not only not healthy, it doesn’t work. It’s the surefire way to send a man looking elsewhere, especially since society is conditioning him to believe that’s what is expected of him.”

Both Grant and Smith say communication and maintaining an active sex life are essential to keep a man from straying. “It can be tough,” says Grant. “Especially for the working mother, who on top of her job, still takes the lead role in caring for the kids and home. She’s often just too tired for sex. But you’ve got to find ways to make that a priority in your relationship. Help him see how sharing in the housework and taking care of the children will also help in the bedroom. Don’t withhold sex if he doesn’t do those things. But help him to see how rewarding it can be when he does.”

5. Black Women Can’t Hold Relationships Together Because They Are Too Domineering And Demanding

It is ironic that the strength and determination for which Black women are revered as mothers and stalwart family supporters are also the qualities around which a great deal of relationship mythology is centered.

Part of the problem is the ambivalence many men have about what they really want in a partner/mate. “Modern-day men enjoy having an independent woman,” says Tiy-E Muhammad. “Most men will say, `I want a woman who’s got it going on.’ But after the relationship has begun, those same men will now want that woman to submit and be a part of his vision and his dream. He will want to be the dominant figure in the relationship in order to feel whole.”

In relationships that work–those that endure for decades–the individuals who make up the couple take turns allowing the other to be “boss.” “You don’t have to be totally submissive,” says Lurline Cotton, “but sometimes you go along with what he wants to do, even if it’s not exactly what you want, and he goes along with what you want to do, even if it’s not exactly what he wants.”

This only works if there is trust in the relationship. “You have to be secure in the feeling that your mate is operating in your best interest,” says Dr. Grant. “But a lot of Black women have had experiences that may lead them to believe that every guy is trying to get over on them, and that’s a hard barrier to get over. So men have to work hard to show them that they’re deserving of that trust. It may take time and a lot of effort on the man’s part to get through that barrier, but a lot of couples manage it.”

Black women also must relinquish some control, especially on the home front, which many women see as their dominion. “Just because he doesn’t feed the baby exactly the way you would or make dinner exactly the way you would, you don’t just take that away from him or degrade his approach,” advises Dr. Smith. “If you nurture him and show appreciation for the way he does-things, you’re showing him respect and building up that trust in the relationship.”

The bottom line is that Black couples do make it–more make it, in fact, than our society ever really acknowledges. And if more people followed the examples of the couples whose relationships do endure, and the tips from the experts who help struggling couples get over the hump, perhaps the myths about Black male/female relationships would fade–replaced by more stories like those of Lurline and Wendell Cotton, whose 59-year marriage is still going strong.

“It takes a commitment to what you’re trying to build together,” Lurline Cotton says. “But if you have the respect and the love, the commitment is a lot easier to maintain.”

Note: COPYRIGHT 2002 Johnson Publishing Co. COPYRIGHT 2002 Gale Group Posted on Tuesday, June 06 @ 12:26:56 EDT by found on www.blackhabits.com

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